Henry's Web Log

In the wake of last week's sad news, and on the heals of a recent "Basra Idol" contest here, I thought I'd try my hand at scripting a short comedy routine, poking a little fun at our desert situation. I'll open it up for comments and see if the spammers attack, but I'd appreciate your feedback.

Background: The 34th Infantry division is about 1/3 of the audience, and the newest arrival. They're mostly from the Minnesota National Guard. Also big in the audience is the 2nd Brigade of the 4th Infantry Division. Regular Army, hard charging warfighters. So here goes...

Red Bull, where are you? Yeah! Enjoying Basra? Like those CHUs? Well, I’ll tell you, as one of the lucky residents of a CHU, I can say it’s not all that 4 walls have been cracked up to be. One of the new rules, I mean besides everybody below Full Colonels having a roommate, some having three soldiers to a 10x10 room, is that we need to shut off the air conditioners when we’re gone more than 4 hours. For most of us, that means during the heat of the day.

So you take your bed, wrap it in a metal container, seal it up, put it in the 120 to 130 degree sun, and let it simmer for 12 to 16 hours while you and your roommate work the day shift. Sounds like a great recipe for my grandmother’s pot roast! Put the meat on a bed of rice in an aluminum pot, wrap it in foil, let it simmer. At least a pot roast gets basted!

I came back to our CHU last night, and the bed was HOT. I mean, like getting into a car with leather seats on a sunny day HOT. That’d be great for the middle of winter if we could just trade places there by 6 months, but a hot bed is a new experience in the summer. I cranked up the A/C and went for a shower... Guess what? My shower gel was HOT, and it just poured out of the bottle like water. And my toothpaste. If you’ve never brushed your teeth with hot toothpaste, you’re missing a real treat. There’s probably some exclusive Country Clubs in Minnesota where they preheat your toothpaste for you, and it’s considered a luxury, so you don’t know just how good you’ve got it here in Basra!

Of course, the faucets are labeled wrong, too. Cold water is usually pretty warm, and by the way, I know that truck that fills up the water says “potable water” on it, but the signs say DON’T DRINK THE WATER. Don’t brush your teeth with it. So where is the potable water going? To the toilets? To me, that’s not water. It’s not cold, it’s not drinkable. So why does the truck say “potable water?” That’s like the fuel trucks out at the fuel point. Have you seen those? There’s a big warning on each truck that says, “Danger! Inflammable!”

Now in almost every word in the English language, when you put the prefix “in” on the front of a word, it means “NOT.” Like, INDESCRIBABLY HOT! It’s SO hot, you can’t describe it. So the fuel is INFLAMMABLE, and if you see the MoGas trucks what do they say? “Danger! Highly Inflammable.” Check it out some time.

Seriously, though, Iraq has made some outstanding progress since 2003. And you’re a big part of that! It is absolutely awesome that the elections were a great success, the Iraqi citizens overwhelming voted for leaders who embrace building the infrastructure and economy of this nation, and people are getting out and making a difference. So we’re transitioning now, on our way out, and most of what we contribute now is advice and assistance.

In fact, our new Brigade Combat Teams on the way in next year are now called “Advisory and Assistance Brigades.” Did you know that? This is the new politically correct term. Where’s the 2/4 tonight? You’ve heard of these “AAB’s” - Am I right?

It’s still a Brigade of 3,000 trained warfighters, but they’re here to advise and assist. We’ll help the Iraqi Army become independent. For example, we’ll stand next to a squad of the Iraqi army and say, “Hey! See those Terrorists over there?” Well, wait, terrorists isn’t the right word. “Hey, see those peace-challenged fellows over there with an armload of TNT, a motorcycle battery and a detonation switch?” I advise you to light them up with this Mark 19 I happen to have with me. Do you need assistance loading it?

Wow! It's been a long time since I've updated. I hadn't realized that time had flown by so quickly. Normally, that's a good thing, but in this case we've been wrapped up in the particularly difficult situation of one of our Cub Scouts, Kelly Ryan. I am saddened to say that Kelly had a rare illness and passed away last Sunday at the age of 10.


Truly, Kelly was an exceptional boy who was always smiling. He was blessed with a loving family, and I believe they did their absolute best to make the most of their short time with Kelly, not even knowing he was not to be with us long. God Bless Kelly and the Ryan family.
Kelly Ryan's page on the Cub Scout Pack 145 website

As you’ve read about the transformation we’ve undergone in Basra, you know that a great deal happened here, all at once: we went from UK forces to US, all the contractors changed to Iraqi-based businesses, almost all of whom had not contracted with the military before, and the number of soldiers doubled or more. Coming up, we will switch from using US Dollars to a system based entirely on the Iraqi Dinari. A soldier who writes a check or who takes a portion of his pay in cash will receive Dinari. Contractors will be paid in Dinari, including the American contractors. The PX will only accept our “Eagle Cash Cards,” or Dinari. Everything, and this time, Tallil will lead the way, converting over in a few short weeks.

The purpose of this switch is to get US Dollars out of Iraq, and help the Iraqi Dinari be a more stable, viable currency. We’re putting a lot of money into the country, so let’s do it in their currency. Another move to their own independence, and the departure of US influence.

So I thought to myself, "Where else but the military can you force a change that is decidedly good for the long run, but certainly goes against our natural inertia?"
I certainly wouldn’t choose to carry Dinari in my wallet. "I’m an American! I get paid in dollars! But wait: if everybody does this, all at once, it won’t matter, will it? I can still get a haircut, buy a watch, or give the guy at the carwash a tip."

So what would happen in the US if we wanted to make some change for the good of the country, but for it to work, it had to be a sudden, dramatic switch? Say we need to abolish the complex income tax system. Throw it out and use a simple table where lower income people pay from none to a small percent of earnings, and the highly compensated pay a significant percent of their income to tax? We’ve seen lobbyists attack this idea, income tax preparation companies, tax lawyers and others who earn their living based on the complexity of our system. They have a loud voice, and they’ll sue someone because their rights are being violated. And many special interests would loose their protected tax status that their congressperson fought so hard for.

And that’s why we can’t seem to have the Metric System in the United States. It would take a sudden, simple change to unify the US with the rest of the world. Can you imagine? We’re the leader in the global economy, but we trade on a different system of weights and measures . We’re holding ourselves back, because too many people can fight for the status quo, afraid they might have to change their tools, or wouldn’t understand the speed limit. But if we could really take charge, just for 3 months or so, and say, “No. This is the way it’s going to be. It’s a little painful, but get over it, because we WILL all be better off.” Then there would be some amazing things we could do, and we wouldn’t sue each other silly trying to do it.

Many folks have asked how ACI, my custom software development company, is doing, and whether the recession and my deployment have affected us.

Certainly the economy and a deployed owner affects the company and interrupts our rhythm. But ACI has an outstanding team of dedicated professionals, and I'm very proud of several great initiatives they have cooking. We continue to make very good progress on the web-based refrigeration control and energy management for supermarkets that I was talking about last year.

We have a couple of developers serving with Kronos Federal Systems in Blacksburg, and SAIC has grown in Blacksburg. I helped a good friend become part of their management team recently, and prior to deployment, ACI worked on 2 separate web-based software development proposals with the SAIC professionals.

With me gone, our advisory board has done a fantastic job, and now Jim Wyers is on our team as Interim President. He has been a good friend since working with him at Virginia Tech Army ROTC, and in 2005, he became an ACI employee working on our Army software contract. He was delighted to come back, and is overseeing daily operations as well as business development.

The MatWeb material property database and search engine continues to thrive with steady growth and continued improvements to both the search engine and underlying data. Dale, Nils and Rob have recently added new premium features and are ramping up for summer engineering internships.

PC Drafter is about to launch its 10th year, and our new Fantasy Draft Software comparison matrix shows pretty clearly that we've got one of the best packages, yet very reasonably priced.

The bottom line remains strong. We have observed that customers are taking longer to commit, and some projects are on hold, but by and large, our team is fully engaged, and business is on the uptick. And when our team is not working on our projects, they are often undertaking education and self-improvement. We've also been brainstorming some new applicaitons and have a few exciting things cooking!

Personally, I've gone from about 90 hours a week to something around 75 and feel like life is suddenly much better! I've started an application for Systems Engineering certification through INCOSE, and am working on an improved security clearance. Both items should help our marketability after I return.

As the 10th Mountain Division bids farewell to Basra, the 34th Infantry Division is assuming the helm of the Multi National Division-South, right here in Basra. The 34th ID, Red Bulls, hails from the the Minnesota National Guard and has a long, distinguished military history. Among their notable events, the 34th ID was the first US Division to deploy overseas in WWII, and they fought with the 10th Mountain Division in Italy. Minnesota has a distinguished war history as well, with Company A, 194th Armored Regiment deployed to the Philippines in Autumn, 1941. The Wikipedia page for the Bataan Death March lists Minnesota as one of five commemoration marches that memoralize those who were involved in this horrific event.

Here in Basra, the Red Bulls conducted a simultaneous march with their home state, offering 10 mile and 20 mile options.

Having a compelling need to participate in all things aerobic, I donned my ruck and went for the 10 mile event! Two hours and forty minutes later, I was at the finish line, scraping the salt off of my face and neck!

The event was very well run, with the Red Bulls BAND playing at start point and the turn-around point. 86 of us were out there, and the weather smiled on us, with temperatures only in the low 90’s.


This is at about the 7.5 mile mark for me. Note the band, with their rifles under their chairs. I emailed my son Eric about the band, since he has been playing Baritone (Euphonium) for 3 years, and we’ve just become Band Parents ourselves! Eric will be in marching band next year as he enters High School.